If you’re a grown-ass man, shit like this is never considered acceptable:
£212 ($341 USD) over at Oki-Ni.
It quickly became obvious to me that designer Bernhard Willhelm has been pushing envelopes in the game for a while now.. dude has quite a few weird products out, and a incredibly shitty website which is very hard to navigate. That last point alone garners a crazy amount of designer street cred. I’m not sure why he thought a single set of ears on a hat would be acceptable, much less two sets of ears and some weird looking tusk type ventilation area right over the visor. It looks like some high school sewing class project the surly goth girl in your class put together. The teacher gave her an A because her stitches were tight, and she really committed to the audacity of the idea. It’s important to note that goth chicks are scary when they get mad, and teachers are terrified of hexes.
I know some of you are probably thinking I’d have a different opinion if the designer went with Multicam rather than woodland on the visor. SHUT UP! NUH UH, NO I WOULDN’T!#^!@
Loud camouflage socks:
$40 over at Nice Laundry.
At the end of the day isn’t that #menswear life all about quietly announcing to other guys how superior you are, as often as possible? If some ways happen to be inexpensive, then great. Sure $40 per pair of socks isn’t cheap if you’re used to buying Costco 12-packs. How many socks do you really need though? I suppose the first question should be how often do you do laundry? If you do laundry once a week, and want a bit of a buffer then 10 pairs of socks would probably do it. I don’t have a specific laundry schedule, so I have like 30+ pairs and have even bought more instead of doing laundry. I was actually thinking that I needed some nicer socks a while ago, so I’ll probably add at least a pair of these to my drawer. Good to have on hand when you know you’re going to be chilling out in public, casually throwing an ankle onto your opposite knee where your denim raises up causing the sock to peek out. Random people are not likely going to tell you how great your socks are, but when you catch them doing a sideways glance then quickly looking away you can chalk it up as a win.
Hat tip: Matt
Beams+ camouflage bow tie:
I faced the music a long time ago, I know you guys follow this blog primarily for one of three reasons. The first being you have a genuine interest in military inspired menswear and fashion in general… that’s great; “bless bless” (as they say). The second, you want to feel good about yourself because you’re not as #ForeverAlone as I am. Lastly maybe you’re forever alone too, and you like to relate. Any of those reasons are alright, as long as you keep coming back. Don’t worry about me, I’ll blog through the loneliness and might even end up with a camouflage bow tie or two.
$65 over at Mr. Porter. Definitely one of the cheaper items Beams+ makes next to their socks.
Lanvin absolutely crushing it with this roll down military style duffle:
Plenty of (read MOST) guys out there aren’t going to appreciate the attention to detail and beauty of such an item. Skewed quilted stitching on the leather, carry handles, zippered pockets, and an ample inner compartment. By my calculations this duffle will definitely hold about a quarter million in hundreds while still leaving room for condoms, a passport, clean socks / underwear, deodorant, cologne, and a few ENDO Apparel t-shirts… the weekend kit of the successful bachelor 😉
$2600 over at SSENSE, where don’t ask don’t tell only refers to the price tag.
Thoughts?
I present to you this tote from Japanese brand Undercover:
I hear guys with girlfriends always talking about how painful it is to have to go to farmers markets. Oh your beautiful girlfriend wants you to keep her company while she shops for delicious fresh ingredients to assemble into a meal for your can-barely-microwave-a-pizza-pop sorry ass? She even treats you to a slice of pie or a cookie while you’re there? Man your life sucks. I’m sure you would much rather be sitting on a Starbucks patio, cold and alone like me, hoping that girl you really like texts you about doing something in _ days, providing a glimmer of hope. Anyway back to the point of this post… you hate farmers markets and you don’t appreciate your girlfriend. Well I’m here to help you with both before she realizes she somehow got duped by your average looks, and the initial “dumb guy” charm she liked so much at the beginning wears off. Realize that the farmers market is just another convenient place to outdo all of the basic bozos with your everyday street style, and boost your #menswear self worth. Don’t go over the top with this or you’ll be made, out and stick out like a sore thumb. Now some of you are probably like “yea I’ll wear a suit!” WRONG, you won’t wear a suit… this isn’t an accounting conference Brody, it’s an assembly of vendors and random hippies with delicious goods for sale, perused by a relaxed crowd with nothing more than a recipe calling for freshness, and an unscheduled few hours on their hands. You’ll wear some nice jeans, a casual jacket that works with the current weather / season, and some cozy but stylish shoes (think leather, textured, or even something with a blast of color). The real truth is in the accessories… that’s where this tote comes in, and it comes with a three pronged purpose: 1) No other guy there is going to have a tote this nice, and with military influence even… this will gain you style points with your girl which can be redeemed later 2) You’ll want to fill this tote up (MENSWEAR 101: Totes look best full) and coincidentally she will have both hands free to pick up and examine gourds and the freshness of the kale. 3) Because of your chivalry and her free hands, you’ll be treated to little hugs, bum pinches, casual face-grab kisses, hair tousles, and other cute stuff girlfriends (I hear) love to do in public to make you feel special.
The tote is actually even on sale half price right now at Haven for $368. “But Mike $368 for a tote? Won’t a regular $3-$5 tote from IKEA or a grocery store work the same?”. Ugh, that’s the exact type of thinking that will not only lose you the beautiful girl, but also respect amongst your #menswear peers.
Thoughts?
Because some people use pencils and make mistakes:
The six pack available for £5 ($7 USD) over at Mustard.
