Be Honest Do You Actually Like Camping, Or Are You Just Poor?

MIL-STD-05-7-2013

Carhartt WIP x Salewa Tent will stylishly keep the rain out (and likely “camping stink” in):

Carhartt-WIP-Salewa-Tent-1

Carhartt-WIP-Salewa-Tent-2

I haven’t done huge amounts of camping, but I’ve done enough to know the different types of people who camp.  First off you have the people who camp because then genuinely love the outdoors and being close to nature.  Secondly you have the people that like camping because it’s another excuse to get drunk… you need excuses when you get older or else you just look like an alcoholic.  Third, you have the people that say they “camp” but you find out they spend most of their time outdoors on their iPhones, and enjoy watching football on satellite from their huge weatherproof climate controlled RVs.  Last of all you have the people that are just flat out too poor to stay in hotels.  Some of these people do actually fall into category #1, but the ones that don’t you can really tell when you hear them talk about their outdoor experiences.  The most depressing shit on earth is hearing about bugs, mosquitos, heat, humidity, monsoon rain, non working bathroom facilities, and all the other terrible things that happened to them…. kill me now.  These people are often in denial about their motives (poverty) for camping when you ask them why they didn’t just stay in hotels on their trip. I’m not saying I wouldn’t camp again… If my girlfriend wanted to go camping, I’d take her but I’m not going to suggest it as an awesome thing to do.  Being the manly man I am I can make a mean fire, cook over that fire, dress like a boss, all while making sure the champagne and beer cools down to an optimal drinking temperature.  Frankly I’d rather stay in nice hotels, or at home and continue to deal with first world problems like the fact I don’t have a garburator in my new place, and rather than get up and shut the blinds on my massive floor to ceiling windows I complain about the sun… ugh yea the blinds aren’t remote controlled, can you believe that?  I’m not in denial, being poor really sucks.  Don’t even get me started on how the maids are never on time.

beardI don’t need an excuse to drink champagne whenever I want to, but I would need an excuse to buy a $465 tent from the Carhartt WIP store rather than spend the money on a few solid pairs of their pants.

Jessica if you ever want to go camping make sure to give me some warning so I can grow my beard out longer.  Also, I need to make sure my wood splitting skills are so baller that I swing only once for every split, and never even break a sweat.

1 COMMENT - JUMP DOWN ↓ TO ADD YOUR OWN

J May 7, 2013 at 05:35 am

Unless your magic tent has an outlet for a hairdryer, do I look like a motherfucking camper?
Real men don’t split wood with an axe, they tear it apart with bare forearms, Paul Bunyan.

That being said, please consider purchasing the Hipsterflage swim shorts for our impending outdoor excursion.

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